Oculolinctus – Licking eyeballs
Forniphilia – involves behaving like a piece of furniture
Dendrophilia – When you’re into trees, a lot…
Foot fetishism – attraction to feet
Apotemnophilia – attraction to amputees
Licking doorknobs – a Japanese trend that turned into a fetish
Plushophilia – sexual attraction to stuffed toys animals
Agalmatophilila – when you’re into mannequins
Formicophilila – Being crawled on by bugs
Paraphilic infantilism – sexual arousal based on dressing or being treated like a baby,
also know as autonepiophilia
Teratophilia – is when somebody is turned on by deformed or monstrous people
Abasiophilia – when you’re turned on by people with impaired mobility or people in wheelchairs
Frotteurism – Rubbing against a non-consenting person, for example in public transport
Hybristophilia – being turned on by criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes
Olfactophilia – getting drawn to or turned onto certain smells
Klismaphilia – Enemas, either giving or having
Reptilophilia – when you love your pet lizard too much
Piquerism – sexual gratification though penetration of another person by stabbing
or cutting the body with sharp objects
Trichophilia – Sexual obsession with hair
You haven’t even made it in the store and the dick moves already abound.
There is a special place in Hell reserved for the people who make this dick move
Seriously, you just had to swerve in front of me? Here, take this coupon for 30% off your next dick move, you dick
See how they all fit nicely? That is how they are supposed to look. Plopping yours on top doesn’t save you time, it’s just a major dick move.
I came in here for Triscuits and toilet paper, but now I’m leaving with three boxes of Samoas and a befuddled look of how I got suckered into this dick move once again
(I know there are spacial cases)
Look, this isn’t a bazaar, so stop trying to get a deal on that bag of KitKats, OK? Only thing you can get a deal on is being a dick. And guess what? Today it’s fre
Really? One thing? Then why did you come back with a ton of stuff and take FIVE MINUTES? Oh, sorry, forgot you were a dick. My bad.
They’re asking for rolls of quarters?! Now the checker has to ask the manager, then the manager has to get the key… Then you punch yourself for falling for that dick move once again.
“OK, let’s see here. Where’s the code on this thing?” — A dick, trying to find a barcode on a single radish.
All this does is distract the manager from getting that other dick his roll of quarters. What is up with everybody? Is it National Be a Dick Day?
How else is the checker supposed to differentiate between my ice cream and bourbon, and that lady’s popsicles and vodka? And no, we are not “together,” thank you very much. Just ring her up so that I can get out of this store of dick moves.
Go ahead, put your grubby hands on all the nectarines. It’s not like I wanted any, you super dick
Want to know if you are maker of dick moves? How many of those samples would you take? If you said more than two, congratulations, you are a dick.
That 30-foot walk back to the meat section was too far, huh? That’s why you left this steak oozing blood next to the Oreos?! WHAT A DICK MOVE
“…9-8-2-1? Still not working? Try 6-3-4… No, scratch that. 6-3-5…” I know your number. Try 1-800-D-I-C-K-M-O-V-E.
I get that your prescription isn’t ready, but this is how Outbreak started. So just get your meds and leave as quickly as possible, you sick dick.
Where’d they go? To the restroom? Did they get raptured? All I know is that their cart is blocking the cereal aisle, and that whoever left it is a grade-A supreme dick.
FML. I guess this can be called a butt-move.