1. Cookie Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Why would you ruin a perfectly good cookie like that? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
2. Mini Beer-Battered Veggie Corn Dogs
This is insulting.
3. Lobster Mac and Cheese
When you add lobster to mac and cheese a little part of my soul dies.
4. Cucumber Sandwich
You think you’re sooooo clever don’t you.
5. Diet Cupcakes
This is stupid.
6. Cauliflower Crust Pizza
STOP TRYING TO ADD HEALTHY STUFF TO MY PIZZA.
7. Mac and Cheese Balls
8. Pickle Roll-Ups
Pickles + Cream Cheese + Ham is NOT an acceptable thing to eat. I BANISH YOU.
9. Doughnut Burger
Sounds exciting right? NO IT IS NOT. IT SUCKS.
10. Hot Dog Pasta
So creepy, not cool at all.
11. Cake Pops
The devil’s work.
12. Kale Granola
If you get anywhere NEAR my yogurt I’ll call the damn cops.
13. Foie Gras Doughnut
14. Bacon Taco
Can you feel that? It’s your arteries clogging and then dying. You’re dead.
15. Cake Batter Smoothie
Even sprinkles can’t hide the fact that this is the worst thing ever.
16. Tofu Cookies
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY COOKIES, TOFU.
17. Zucchini Fries
“Fries.” PSH. More like: Lies, without quotations.